Day 35 . We Lost Our Brother

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Daily reflections by Ema and Elle ~

By Ema ~ Today was a strange day. We had planned to go to Kona and get in the water, with hopes to meet up with a friend that is on the island visiting from Germany. It was sunny in Hawi, so we got our bags ready and headed to Kona. Usually it is nicer there than in Hawi, but today it was raining upon our arrival. I heard from my friend just as we arrived Kona, quite by accident, as she meant to call someone else, but we made our plans to met this evening at the Kava Bar. Since our outdoor plans were not possible and we were here with nothing to do for awhile I figured we could go have a look around in Ross. Elle has never been to a Ross and has been begging. We decided to try on clothes for fun and I oddly enough chose jeans and pants. Now if you know me I rarely wear pants besides mermaid leggings and never am known to wear jeans. Elle has been bothering me that I need a pair for being around the horses, so maybe this is why I gathered up some to try on, but figured what I really needed was a white pair of pants so I found a few others to try on but ended up not liking the white after all. Behold, the rare site of me in pants, and other attire.

I did find some black pairs I liked, they seemed more practical. As well an interesting pair with a print, but those got shot down right away by Elle.

I only found one dress, for an occasion unknown, so it was not practical at all, just fun to try on.

I definitely was calling in the cowgirl energy. I love how I am frowning as I see myself in pants. Believe it or not we came home with a couple pairs of jeans for me, two black pairs, and an outfit, shirt, and pair of jeans for Elle. Unfortunately not the jumper/overalls though.

From there we headed down to the market to see if anything was open, but the only stand was a man with coconuts. He told us about his love of coconuts and all their benefits and offered us one. He was very impressed we carried our own straw and thanked us.

We stopped to have dinner at the same fish place we had it at last time, but they would not do my kids meal again. That was fair enough I suppose, so Elle and I shared the full meal, as there is no way I can eat that much food at once on my own. We also got our coconut/ pina colada smoothies. After eating we went to meet up with Seda and have some pie finally from the Kava bar as we were told today they would have it, but unfortunately once again it was not ready, so after some kava and baked purple sweet potatoes we went to get gelato for dessert.

We wandered the shops for awhile with Seda and went to the Tibet shop again.

We also always stop for magical creatures and although you can’t touch the snails and slugs in Hawaii right now we had to take a picture of this snail as he was so huge, just wandering along the wall.

On our way back to the car we saw another friend of ours that we have made from the Kava bar and he invited us to join him there so we went back to my little beach oasis. The guy working had to leave early due to an ill girlfriend, which was odd as all night Elle had been telling me how he reminded her of our brother Dorian and now he was entrusting the place to use as he left to tend to his girlfriend who was an epileptic. The same thing our brother suffers from. We finished our drinks and made plans to take Seda back to her hostel. When we arrived we decided to use the bathroom before our drive home. While Elle was in there I noticed a bunch of messages from my mom, and even through it was late I decided to call. I could not barely believe what I was hearing, as my little brother Dorian had passed from a seizure. It seemed even more unreal with Elle seeing the guy who reminded her of him and his girlfriend and all. We had tried to see Dorian while in Arizona but did not get to connect with him. It felt like it was not possible to have a younger sibling gone. I could not help my tears from flowing. I sat for awhile and gathered myself before the drive home. Once home Elle and I just sat for awhile on the porch trying to understand I guess, it felt like there were signs of him with us all day. Even my buying jeans seemed to represent him, as he too is a little cowboy, and that was totally out of character for me. It was indeed a strange day. Today we lost our brother.

By Elle ~ Today I woke up and had peanut butter honey sandwich with some dragon fruit. I did my essay while sissy slept before we got ready to go to Kona. We got together our beach bags and got in the car. It was sunny in hawi so we were excited to see what Kona would bring as the wether is usually warmer there. When we got there it was gloomy and quite sad looking, I had been asking to go to Ross for today so we went there. We got a call from Seda just as we were pulling in she didint mean to call and thought this was someone else but they decided to meet at the kava bar tonight. We stayed in Ross for a long time I was looking around in the kids clothes and I went back to Ema when she said “I’m going to try things on for fun” I said “really we can!” She said “YUP”. I went and chose some clothes to try on, I picked out some clothes and looked for sissy. I couldn’t find her but I didint worry because this happens with mom all the time so I looked around called her then texted her and waited. I got up a second time to look when sissy said “Elowyn” and I found her. She told me she was looking for me but didint see my messages or call. We went to the dressing room and started to try things on Ema had a lot of clothes and I had a few. I tried them on and waited. While I waited I did tic tok and helped ema decide. We got a few things Ema got jeans which is very weird because she hates jeans and I got a little European outfit and a crop top. After Ross we went to the fish bar but when sissy asked if she could eat from the kids menu because of her belly problems they said “no they cant to that and to go the more expensive route to share and get less food” we each got virgin pinacolotas.

While we were eating Ema told me the quiet guy from the kava bar had come around and said “Nice to see you”. We ate and left to meet Seda at the kava bar.  At the kava bar there was this guy working and he reminded me of Dorian I kept telling sissy that and she kept saying “I know you told us” then I told her “I’m going to reconnect with him though facebook” we asked for pie but the pie wasn’t ready even though they told us Wednesday so we went to get gelato. I got lilikoi which was yummy I couldnt finish so I gave it to a dog and got a grass art. We headed to my meditating guy to say hello, he gave me a boda for free. On our way back we were walking down the street talking about the shy guy from the kava bar we saw dinner when ema said “I hate to break it to ya but he’s behind you”  he asked if we were going to the kava bar so we went for a while. The guy working there closed early because he has a epileptic girlfriend and she was there but couldn’t drive home we told him “we understand we have a brother like that” (Dorian the one he reminded me of). We drank our drinks and put the cups behind the statue were he told us to and took Seda to her hostel. We took Seda to her hostel and she said we could use the bathroom that was there. We saw messages from mom so we called her. I went pee and when I came out sissy was crying and Seda looked like she wasn’t sure how to react. When I sat down Seda started to comfort me and I knew something was wrong. Sissy told me “Dorian died”. I didn’t know how to feel I felt like crying but my body wouldn’t let me. We sat with Seda for a while talking before leaving for home. At home we just sat around processing before finally I went to sleep.

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