Dad Christmas Birthday

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By Ema ~ As soon as we arrived to Mom’s the first thing we did after saying hello to everyone was give our Dad his birthday gift. Our parents separated about a year ago and this is our first Christmas that they live apart, but he has come over to join in with the festivities. Elle and I have done a lot of processing about this, as it is a new experience for her to have a family working like this. I have tried to give her some good examples like our Aunt Debi who technically is the other side of the family, but after her and my uncle divorced when I was a child she stayed very involved with the family for the sake of her children. Everyone always got on well at family events. We pondered together about how for some people it is actually healthier to be apart. She seems to have come to peace recently with her fathers choices of leaving a year ago and was excited to see him and to gift him his birthday present. The other children are still upset with him, so it was just us this year. Mom actually brought the treats and card for him, which was very sweet of her. I know this is a difficult time for her, yet Elle and I hope that our family can find a new way to relate, hopefully a better one. Our Dad does seem happier these days. Elle and him have been connecting and she is hoping to meet her new baby sister soon. Yes, our father has made a new family, but we are already a unique family made of a few marriages and adoption, so how can we not be happy about a new a baby in the family. She wants to meet our Dad’s new partner too and give her a chance. I think it is a very mature attitude. We cannot really judge someone on others experience or view, yet must observe for ourselves and make our own conclusions. Elle also prepared a gift to send home for her new sister, A doll and craft kit to make a hand print, yet we decided to just give that to Dad privately to take home and open with his other branch of the family, as to not upset this side. We want everyone to know we care, yet that is a delicate situation these days. We hope our Mom and siblings will eventually see that we are a stronger family living in the arrangement we do these days. Elle is so happy being with me and brings so much to my life, more than I could have ever imagined. I have care took many places and people along the way, but there is definitely something so beautiful to what Elle and I have. We are indeed kindred souls. I am always focused on building others up, but she naturally does it for me too. We are quite a pair, two peas in a pod. Our mom told us again and again this summer how it is actually better for her with Elle gone with me and just the boys and Xena there, this hurt Elle at first yet I think that we have grown to see that it is really so good for us too. I hope that by my holding Elle it will give our mother more time to tend the special needs of our other siblings. Each of them are adopted and have come with some challenges, but with the right focus I have high hopes for them all and Elle does too. I hope by helping hold space for our mother she will find the time and strength to build a routine that will help them each heal and find their unique, passion, strengths, and gifts just as Elle has done over these past six months, and much of my life path has been about. We each deserve to be happy. Our Dad seems really happy in life too. More than I have ever seen him. He has never been very accepting of me, but he was so relaxed being there on different terms we got on really well. I was so impressed and surprised. I felt it gave me even more hope for the vision that Elle and I spoke and dreamed of, that our family will function better as it is and we will all be supported and happy. We have to believe and have hope that this truly is the best for us all. Many families these days are unique, after all. Love is what matters and if we focus on how to love one another and what is best or each, then we will all succeed and feel supported and loved. Especially the elements of feeling supported and loved. They are the core of anyone of us reaching our dreams and highest potential. We all deserve such and this family finally deserves to be happy. I know healing takes its own time and process for each, yet this night gave me hope for something more, something better.

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