By Ema ~ I still have not heard from my mother or sister since we had to part shortly after New Years. I had so hoped to see my sister again by now, but this is not the first time in life that my mother has pushed me out of our family, in truth it has been more like a ritual since I was 15 years old. Many ask why I keep going back. I have to let my heart lead and I love my family, they are ever so important to me, so I can only follow my heart and keep trying to be in their lives. I will be leaving for Florida soon, and feel all the clothes and such I got Elle before she parted are going to be too small for her by the time I see her again. I have packed up all her clothes and much of her stuff including her Christmas presents. So far I have prepared 7 boxes for my mom to gather on her behalf. It is so sad and breaks my heart not being near my sister or knowing how she is doing, so I keep reaching out in hopes someday this family will be healed and trust one another. Love and trust seem to me to be the foundation for anything to work and grow, especially a family. It is difficult to understand how a year ago we were traveling together, being a family, and now to have lost them all again. My mom promised she would never do this again to me, and here we are. I am trying to comprehend all, but it is difficult when others around you are not being honest. I thrive on honestly. I know it is not always easy in the moment, but I promise it is always for the best. I hope others can learn to speak their truth and overcome what fears stop them from living their light and love. I know that is my mission.
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